After being so embedded in a particular modus operandi for so long, there’s a lot of unlearning to do. That past way of thinking, behaving and operating still threatens to cling on and distort what is newly birthing but it takes courage, patience and determination to pursue and learn new patterns of thinking and expressing oneself.
Unlearning - takes time. There may be years of embedded, encrusted stuff; years of ‘go to’ thinking; years of baked in habits and years of internal noise patterns to silence or readjust, turf out, obliterate or embrace. Your voice may be buried underneath all the junk that is accumulated and needs a clear out.
I have been journeying – the change of pace has enabled me to really take a good look at who I am. The familiar and predictable had perhaps masked some of my creativity, smothered some skills and buried some vision. Motherhood and a career in teaching has given me many rewards and honed many skills that are now finding a new place to flourish. My listening skills are finding new spaces to pour into others so they can have a safe space to heal and grow. My creativity and organisational skills have created a Marriage Retreat where couples took time out to connect and enrich their relationship. And there’s a thirst for more! This new space is invigorating and at the same time challenging. Who said change was easy? Who said morphing from caterpillar to butterfly did not require breaking through the chrysalis, shedding of some skin and squeezing out of an old framework?
Learning -takes time. Reframing takes time and I have had to be patient with myself and patient with the process that continues throughout life. The metamorphosis of a crawling, land-limited insect to an airborne butterfly, is remarkable but possible. The transformation of a creature that allows it to present completely differently has a familiar message. Real change can happen – however slow, however difficult. Real change can happen. Humans can be marred, damaged and deeply flawed but they are also adaptable and resilient and have the ability to morphe and transform.
I have realised that sometimes I merely needed to reconnect to the voice that was already there – the me that I had missed, overlooked, forgotten or trodden on. Sometimes I needed to actually find a new voice, a new way of being, a new way of being present.
Our voices are important and a way of presenting ourselves to the world and at various stages of our lives we need to encourage it, invigorate it, inspire it and reconfigure it. Herein lies the challenge. But when you find it and live it, it goes much further than the voice that remains on the inside; it reverberates into the world and can do amazing things.